Monday, May 30, 2005
I overdid it ....
i just blabbered somethings that are not so nice to my dear.... i think i'd overdone it. i'm getting impatient again, *rolling eyes* all abt her prev memories. i dunno why am i doin it again but i just wish that i can wipe those memories away from her... i know that i'm bad but wat else can i do.
I'm paranoid very paranoid, i'm afraid that wat had happened to my buddy (Jiahan) will happen to me. It's kinda like we share the same fate and things. When i broke my legs last July... 3 days b4 me he had a accident too but twisted his ankle. When we got our bike together, he got a summon for changing lane abruptly and i got revoked in my license few weeks after. It's all happenning again and yes this time i'm afraid very afraid, he broke off with his ger last mth and he told me all abt it. Tiff that's wat we used to call her... was all alone with contact with her ex boyfriend and going out without letting my buddy know, even he knows abt it, it's like she's going out with her friends or colleuges. Going to chiong with a bunch of guys and telling him that she's tired and wan to go sleep le... excuse of working up late but having dinner with her ex and having fun when jiahan is waiting and waiting at her work place waiting to give her a surprive to send her home.... SHIT wat is this kinda of SLUT doin in the world ...
i'm just afraid that the previous memories will be back to haunt my dear or even will she look back to those memories?!?! That's wat i wish to know and also irony i wish i can't hear the answer... i overdid it... too much that i requested her NOT TO CONTACT her ex anymore. I think this is the very first request that i ever asked her to do and i think it'll be the last also ... too much i think ... too much ...
Well it's all up to her to decide wats good for her and wats not.
Sometimes it's just hard to put those feelings aside that u are being stupid and rentlessly waiting... for chances to fill in the gap. But undoubtly i'm willing to ...
I'm paranoid very paranoid, i'm afraid that wat had happened to my buddy (Jiahan) will happen to me. It's kinda like we share the same fate and things. When i broke my legs last July... 3 days b4 me he had a accident too but twisted his ankle. When we got our bike together, he got a summon for changing lane abruptly and i got revoked in my license few weeks after. It's all happenning again and yes this time i'm afraid very afraid, he broke off with his ger last mth and he told me all abt it. Tiff that's wat we used to call her... was all alone with contact with her ex boyfriend and going out without letting my buddy know, even he knows abt it, it's like she's going out with her friends or colleuges. Going to chiong with a bunch of guys and telling him that she's tired and wan to go sleep le... excuse of working up late but having dinner with her ex and having fun when jiahan is waiting and waiting at her work place waiting to give her a surprive to send her home.... SHIT wat is this kinda of SLUT doin in the world ...
i'm just afraid that the previous memories will be back to haunt my dear or even will she look back to those memories?!?! That's wat i wish to know and also irony i wish i can't hear the answer... i overdid it... too much that i requested her NOT TO CONTACT her ex anymore. I think this is the very first request that i ever asked her to do and i think it'll be the last also ... too much i think ... too much ...
Well it's all up to her to decide wats good for her and wats not.
Sometimes it's just hard to put those feelings aside that u are being stupid and rentlessly waiting... for chances to fill in the gap. But undoubtly i'm willing to ...
